My Home School

About twice a year I get a sinus infection, usually when the weather changes. And it’s that time right now. I realize it’s just a sinus infection, not the flu, not a stomach bug, but nonetheless it sucks. The pressure inside my head just keeps building and building and building…I just wish it would explode already! While a sick day at home vegging out in front of the tv sounds pretty boring, it can be very educational.

Apparently an election is coming up. Ha, just kidding, I knew that. But I didn’t realize how useless political candidate commercials actually are in providing any information.

When I have an awful headache, all of a sudden I have supersonic hearing.  I can hear a ticking pocket watch tick tick tick all the way across the room. Every beep and bang makes my head throb. Why do microwaves have to beep so many frickin times?

Apparently only old people are at home watching TV all day long because the commercials are all for AARP, life insurance, and Hoveround.

It is impossible to guilt my dogs into being quiet by telling them how awful I feel. They have no conscience.

It is possible to spend more time on Facebook than I usually do in a normal day.

On basic cable, the channels go up through 98, but that’s only because there are about 10 channels over and over and over. Oh, and the TV guide channel now shows sit-coms and movies? When did that happen? It seems a bit useless for it to still be the TV guide channel since the scrolling channels only show two rows at a time. It will take a long time to see what’s on all those channels that I don’t have.

I am a worker bee. It drives me crazy to be at home and not be able to do something useful. The dirty dishes and dust bunnies just sit there and taunt me all day.

I normally have a very large sweet tooth, but being sick makes it worse because sweets are my comfort food. I need chocolate! Or maybe it’s just all the commercials for Halloween candy I’ve seen all day long.

I have discovered my one true dream of what to do with my life: I want to be Vanna White. One day, people, one day…


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